i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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