should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
