Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
