I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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