u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
