The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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