It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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