my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
