I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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