Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
