Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
