Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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