you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
