the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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