I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
