Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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