Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
