He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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