i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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