Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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