I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
