By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
