im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
