Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
