Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
