no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
