My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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