Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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