we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize