yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
