I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The adults are the big ones right?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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