just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
