i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
