Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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