im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The uberlube is also flammable
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
