I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
