dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
