At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize