So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
