If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
