also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize