Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
