After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
