that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
