Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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