Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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