Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
