is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
