those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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