one two three fourrrrnication!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
