Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
