i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize