We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
