He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize