no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize