He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
