ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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