i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i came on her dog
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
