Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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