I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
