if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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