Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
