Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
